66-year-old woman gets called a ‘doormat’ after she complains about entitled family and friends who use her guest room but never say thank you, she refuses to keep hosting: ‘I got the message’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 27, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Some of us go about our day with full acceptance of the fact that we cannot say 'no' to other people. Whether it's because we truly enjoy making other people happy, or because we are classic cases of people pleasers, sometimes you just have to accept that this is who you are, and you are not going to change.

But if you somehow managed to reach a breaking point, maybe a change is not such a bad idea. Especially if that means that people will finally stop walking all over you. If you can find the strength within you to change your patterns and start saying 'no' to people, your life may very well never be the same.

Is this the case for the lovely lady in the story down below? That is something only she will be able to tell us. But one thing she seems to know for sure – she is ready to change something in her life, as she is more than done with being called a doormat because of how is is being treated by her friends and family.

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  • The 66-year-old woman in this story has been hosting friends and family members in her guest room for quite a while. If you ask her, she'll tell you that she loves it, but it seems like there is something starting to bubble under the surface.

    After 10 days of constantly hosting people who were unable to even thank her for the hospitality, our girl finally snapped. Keep reading the story to find out how exactly that happened…

  • "I feel like I'm running a hotel"
    via FabioBalbi

  • "So sick of being made to feel like I’m running a hotel."

    I live in the center of a major city and am lucky enough to own a house with a "guest room". Normally, I'm pretty happy to have houseguests, but the past 10 days have
    via checktheindex
  • been over-the-top. Four different guests, all of whom asked if I could put them up (i.e. I hadn't invited them myself).
    via checktheindex
  • Change of bedding each time, three meals a day for some of them, use of washing machine, beer, wine, etc, etc.
    via checktheindex
  • Not a single one of them arrived with even so much as a jar of jam. When I mentioned to one that I thought we'd order in some food one night, she said,
    via checktheindex
  • "Great! My treat!" And sat beside me while | I looked thru DoorDash. I asked her to choose what she wanted first, so I could be sure not to order something more
    via checktheindex
  • expensive. But it didn't matter, because she didn't pay. Never even mentioned it again. Nobody leaves a bottle of wine, or flowers, or anything.
    via checktheindex
  • At first I thought this was maybe some generational thing, but one of my guests (the DoorDash one) is 65! What the h I. I'm really ready to just say "no."
    via checktheindex
  • ETA: a bit of clarification. These guests were all either friends or family. I don't welcome strangers, so don't get any funny ideas!
    via checktheindex
  • And if you're about to comment that 1) I am a doormat and/or 2) no is a complete sentence, please don't bother. After hearing
    via checktheindex
  • both several dozen times, I got the message. Really I did. Otherwise, thanks for commenting!
    via checktheindex
  • Guest
    via kirbyworks
  • thetinyorc "Sorry, those days don't work for me. Enjoy the city!"
    via thetinyorc
  • Bottom_of_the_bottle Stop just letting people walk all over you. If you still want to offer the room to them, then offer the room and leave the rest up to them, don't cook for them, don't order food.
    via Bottom_of_the_bottle
  • Alto_GotEm Seriously, people gotta learn the art of being a guest, bring some snacks, pitch in, or at the very least, say thank you!
    via Alto_GotEm
  • MistressClyde This sounds like OP enjoys having houseguests, and looks forward to hosting people from out of town. OP just would enjoy the experience more if guests were more respectful of the 'favor.'
    via MistressClyde
  • I think the next time someone asks, you can casually chat for a while and mention that you also sometimes stay with friends when you're out of town, and you don't want them to feel like you're
    via MistressClyde
  • treating them they're running a hotel. "What do you think a good hostess gift would be?" That might be a strong enough hint that avoids confrontation.
    via MistressClyde
  • checktheindex OP Yes, I usually do like having houseguests and you've hit the nail on the head. These are all people I otherwise like, and some I even love! Just fed up with never getting even the teeniest favour or acknowledgment. I mean, they do say "thanks". I guess that's something?
    via checktheindex
  • Punctual Dromedary I have a spare room in a major city. This doesn't happen when my friends come visit, and if it did, they wouldn't be allowed back again. They always take me out to dinner as thanks.
    via PunctualDromedary
  • checktheindex OP Right? This is what I do, myself. The thing that's "mildly infuriating" is that it seems other people don't.
    via checktheindex
  • berserk539 Just turned it into an office. You no longer have a guest room for people to crash in.
    via berserk539
  • Haugsnkisses I'm confused. It's your house. You choose what you allow and you don't allow. You aren't "being made to feel" anything. You aren't obligated to do anything.
    via Haugsnkisses
  • If someone asks me to haul a 500 pound boulder up a hill, and I say yes, I don't get to complain about how much of a bother it was. I could've simply said no from the beginning.
    via Haugsnkisses
  • No_Situation4785 these do not sound like friends
    via No_Situation4785
  • Randompersonomreddit Send a venmo payment request for the food. And start saying no.
    via Randompersonomreddit

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family drama guests hotel woman hosting work friends reddit story girlfriend host mildly infuriating entitled family Reddit guest room entitled people
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